I was home sick in bed awhile back and was watching a television program. It was about people wanting to thank a long lost teacher for some truly wonderful thing they had done for them. I asked myself the question, “Who could I say was an outstanding teacher in my life?” The person who stood out among all the rest was my big brother, Warren! No one took as much time with me, teaching me so many things about school, sports and just plain having fun!
I did very well in algebra and it can all be attributed to him showing me the basics before I even took the class. He wasn’t worth a darn, however, when it came to the arts and the classics, I remember that he had to see “Macbeth” at the San Marco Theater to get credit in a class at Landon High School. He made such a fuss about it that I begged him to take me along to see what it was all about. He was right! A normal person couldn’t make out what the “Sam Hill” they were talking about! He used the same expletives when movies in the form of “Musicals” were discussed. He couldn’t stand it when, right in the middle of an action scene, the actors would break out in some gosh-awful singing of the words instead of talking them normal…..Yuck!
When it came to sports, Warren could pass and punt a football further than anyone I’ve ever seen… I know because I was on the receiving end of so many of them on Sheridan Street and at Hendricks Avenue School.
I enjoyed baseball because he made it look so easy and fun. We were all the time playing catch in the back yard. He would take me to the Jacksonville Braves games to watch guys like Eddie Matthews and Hank Aaron in action. Who would have known back then we were watching a guy like Hank Aaron who would one day break Babe Ruth’s home run record. We always sat in the section of the bleachers known as the “Knothole Gang”. I don’t ever remember having popcorn or peanuts at the games. I do remember catching and keeping foul balls, though.
He could have been the greatest “fast pitch” softball pitcher in the whole world, but he gave it all up in our back yard one day. It was just another ordinary day, me catching for him. He was practicing his “riser ball”. It must have had too much spin on it or something, because it went wildly out of control! It started out at the perfect height, just below the knees. About ten feet out in front of the imaginary batter, it began its ascent like normal – then it happened! Instead of taking a two foot, upward, jerking path as normal, it rose uncontrollably higher and higher at great speed. There was an unusual whirring sounds as it passed over my head and out of my reach. Almost immediately, there was a loud shriek followed by a low gurgling sound from the yard next door. By the time I spun around to see what had happened, I witnessed old Mrs. Nickerson standing upright with her back to us, her right hand upraised in a gesture as though praising the Almighty, the left clutching her buttock. She stood frozen for just a moment, then fell face first into a pile of camphor leaves she had been bending over collecting. Her posture on the ground was exactly the same as when she was standing just a second earlier. It was real weird!
I turned to look around for Warren for guidance, but he was already beside me and his face told me everything… this was truly our last day on Earth! We just stood there, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. All of a sudden, I had to use the bathroom. No good! Warren grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the “body”. I had never seen a dead person before. About that time she began to move! Great God Almighty… she’s alive! Warren began to remove leaves from her face, but stopped to wipe his hand clean of her snuff juice. She must have swallowed her snuff, because her face had a greenish tint to it.
Warren yelled for me to grab her legs and he would get her by her arms so we could take her inside of her house and lay her down. On the way to the house, I couldn’t help notice that she was wearing stockings, and just below her knees, they were in a roll! Yuck! By the time we got her settled, Mom was helping her get to her senses and was reassuring us that she would be OK. That was the last time I saw Warren “fast pitch” a softball! It was worth it though. Looking back it was one of the funniest experiences of my life!
Although the neighborhood Burney boys thought they were the best at corkball…. they couldn’t hold a candle to Warren! He could take an old fishing cork, put a penny at each end, wrap it just the right way with surgical tape and make the best corkball you ever saw. Not only that… he was the best corkball pitcher on Southside! You couldn’t hit his “risers”, “droppers” and “curlers” (both left and right). His bat was always made of the finest broomsticks, worn and weathered by Mom’s repeated use, sometimes on our backsides. It was always the right length and weight with just the right amount of surgical tape wrapping at the handle so it wouldn’t slip out of our hands when we swung with all our might.
Once, when Warren was home from the Marines, he came to my rescue from a neighborhood bully. His name was Butch Ball. We were all over at the Hendricks Avenue School grounds playing. Butch began making fun of the Jameses. I told him he had better stop or I’d git my big brother on him. He said, “Go right ahead! You Jameses are about as tough as two cent toilet paper.” That was it! Home I went… ran all the way! Thank God Warren was there. Once I told him what Butch Ball had said, he got a strange look on his face and told me to show this punk to him! Wow! What a thrill when we got back to the school to find the bully still there. I walked directly up to him, toe to toe, head tilted way back so I could get a good look at his face, legs spread apart, hands on my hips and a sneer on my face. “Now what did you say about us Jameses?” Warren’s voice came very harsh and rough directly behind me. “Punk”, he said. “You got something bad to say about us Jameses?” You never heard such stammering, stuttering and downright fear. What a glorious day! Never heard a bad word from Butch Ball again.
I could think of a couple hundred stories like these. Maybe I’ll share them with all of you again sometime.
Thanks Warren for all of the fun times when I was a kid! And, thanks for being such a great teacher! I love you!
Your “Baby Brother”,
Richard
I have never laughed so hard and cryed so much. If only a third of what he wrote was fact but he had such a great way with telling stories.
I didn’t realize he had done this. I miss him so much.
God BLESS you Jennye for sharing. I love you so much.
Came across this “memory lane” Richard’s Corner and felt moved to publish it for May. It’s my dad’s way of wishing his big brother a very Happy Birthday today! I love you Uncle Warren! XOXOXO Jennye